1
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- I got one for you, Jamal.
3
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If you could smash any chick,
4
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knowing you'd get a STD, who would you stick?
5
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- That's a tough one, Milk.
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Hmm, probably Amber Rose.
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- You sure about that, my nig?
8
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You really rollin' with Wiz Khalifa's sloppies?
9
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- All that ass? I'll take the finger like Kanye.
10
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- I hope you don't lick your finger.
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- You can hate on a thicky all you want.
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- I knew you was a finger-in-the-booty-ass bitch.
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You nasty, boo.
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- Head's up. Massa coming.
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- Shoot that, Randy.
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- Way to use the glass!
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- Man, fuck y'all. Bring me a towel, bitch.
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- You sure you don't want a tampon?
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- At least we finally got our first
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high school game coming up.
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Our first step to being legends.
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- Yup, all the beezies finna jock us
24
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when they see us rockin' our jerseys, my nigs.
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Aah! - We told you, Milk.
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Until your white ass proves you got some black in you,
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that word is on the banned substance list.
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Got it, my nig? - I told you, I'm Creole.
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- Man, I'm tired of all this practice.
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My body's a well-oiled machine.
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- I feel you, my dude.
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We talkin' about practice.
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Not a game. Practice.
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- Come on, y'all, focus up.
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Coach B gonna yell at us.
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- God damn, you scary, Grover.
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- Yeah, homey.
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- What in the hell you think you're doing?
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Get your asses off the floor.
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You know better than that, Grover.
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Your brother Montrel would be ashamed
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that you two dropped out of the same cooch.
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And, Jamal, you're only here to boost the team's GPA.
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And you're failing at that.
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And white boy, you're only here
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because your stepdad bought us the jerseys, motherfucker.
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- Breath smell like he been eatin' a dookie taco.
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- What?
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- Yo, Randy, good practice, bro.
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- Skerrt! Uh, did I give you permission
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to talk to me, dog nuts?
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When I played with your bro,
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if I talked out of turn,
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I'd get a thumb shoved up my dookie shoot.
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- Bet you talked out of turn all the time.
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- I'ma start calling you "Mon-taint,"
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'cause you ain't Montrel
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and you look like a taint.
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Punk-ass fresh fish.
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- Damn right, Mumblemouth.
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Got 'eem.
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- There you motherfuckers are.
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I need to talk to you little niglets
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about failing my health class.
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If you don't get your shit together fast,
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you motherfuckers will be suspended
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from the motherfucking team, guys.
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- What you mean, suspended?
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Basketball the only reason we come to school.
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- Yeah, come on, Coach Bundy.
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Help some Black Lives Matter.
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- Milk, you're white.
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God helped you out, motherfucker.
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- If I can't wear my jersey to school,
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I'ma go white boy and shoot this bitch up.
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- Damn, Milk, you ain't got no chill.
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- Yeah, you already know I ain't got no chill, homey.
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- Ain't no need for violence.
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- 12 inches. Next question.
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- Hallelujah, bitch.
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Nigga, I feel blessed.
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- Grover, how could you...
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and not ask me?
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- Yo, Grove, you gotta stop thirsting for Randy's boo.
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You ain't even on her radar.
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- Not yet. But you know Cindy gonna be
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jockin' me once we legends.
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Just watch.
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- Oh! all: Ooh!
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Hey, how do my nuts taste?
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- He should've walked away.
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- Nice try, skeet scrub.
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Now get to the back of the bus with the rest of the shit crew.
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- Class, settle the fuck down.
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Now as a part of our "Scared Celibate" curriculum,
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I will be partnering you up to raise a goddamn baby.
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- What you mean, raise a baby?
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Can't we just go to Planned Parenthood?
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I got a coupon!
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- How am I supposed to go league if I got daddy responsibilities?
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- Oh, shut the fuck up!
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I present to you the Totbot 3000.
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Now for the next week, you gotta pretend
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this robot is a motherfucking baby.
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- Now it's time to pair you bastards up.
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Milk, you with Shamal.
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- Man, I gotta boos with this wank-ass...
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Aight, I'ma be cool 'cause you my boy's sister,
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but I gotta tell it like it is.
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I ain't doin' 'nathen.
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I'm keepin' it real, like Grover's dad.
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- That's fine, as long as we're together.
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- Jamal, I'm putting you with Medina.
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- Damn, Medina.
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Can a ledge get some breathing room?
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You like a meat sweater.
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- Don't get coy with me, motherfucker.
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We together, so you better get used to
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me gettin' up inside you.
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- Cindy, I think it'd be good for you
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to be paired up with...Grover.
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- Oh, word?
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- Come on, Coach.
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You know Cindy and I belong together.
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She's my lady.
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- Nice try, motherfucker,
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but we've got our first game this week.
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We don't need you sticking your energy in the wrong place.
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So your partner is LaDante.
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We progressive like a motherfucker.
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- Brandy, you gonna be my wife for life.
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On Oakland.
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- No!
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- I was thinking we treat this more like a side family.
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You take care of the baby,
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and I'll slide through on nights and weekends.
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- If you eat with your family,
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I'll buy you lunch.
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- Oh, okay.
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One of these, one of those.
145
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Aight, but let's go grub somewhere on the low low.
146
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We don't need all these squares in our circle.
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- I know a romantic spot.
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More tater tots, motherfucker!
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I'm eating for two... and the baby.
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- You heard the lady.
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Run the meatloaf, bitch.
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- Look, Randy, I take this parenting shit serious.
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This my tenth year doing this project at Duncan.
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I expect you to be a good mommy
156
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and visit this little nigga early and often.
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- Y-you got it, LaDante.
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Whatever you need.
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- And if you don't fulfill your duties as my play wife,
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that ass is mine.
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Feel me?
162
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I'll hold the baby.
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You hold my belt loop, boo.
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- Mmm.
165
00:05:53,552 --> 00:05:54,818
- Come on, little LeBronya,
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stop cockblocking on Daddy.
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- Here, give her to me.
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It's obvious you have no idea what you're doing.
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There, there, sweetie.
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Mommy has you.
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- I guess you got the touch.
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You should try touching these...nuts.
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- Boy, please. You know I'm with Randy.
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And I am not looking to downgrade.
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- You ain't downgrading.
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You're investing early in a sure thing.
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And I'ma prove it to you,
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if you let me take you out.
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- Well, be a good baby daddy,
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help me ace this class, and...we'll see.
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00:06:17,543 --> 00:06:21,078
- Girl, you about to get a A and a meal at Golden Corral.
182
00:06:23,615 --> 00:06:25,949
- And now, your starting lineup...
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00:06:25,951 --> 00:06:28,418
- Your boy, Montrel Cummings.
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Fuck that.
185
00:06:33,492 --> 00:06:36,326
Well, look at you, trying to be all grown and shit.
186
00:06:36,328 --> 00:06:38,529
- Just trying to make sure I pass this class
187
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so I can stay on the squad.
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- Yo, what you doing?
189
00:06:41,767 --> 00:06:47,271
- Which one of you lazy negroes ate my last Munchable?
190
00:06:48,439 --> 00:06:49,406
Oh, it's like that, huh?
191
00:06:49,408 --> 00:06:50,641
Nobody got nothin' to say?
192
00:06:50,643 --> 00:06:52,042
I buy the groceries, I paid for the couch,
193
00:06:52,044 --> 00:06:54,111
I even paid for the cable so the white man can distract you
194
00:06:54,113 --> 00:06:56,280
from the real issues with this mindless basketball game,
195
00:06:56,282 --> 00:06:58,248
and all I ask is you don't eat my Munchables.
196
00:06:58,250 --> 00:06:59,850
- Man, why you trippin', little bro?
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00:06:59,852 --> 00:07:01,785
You don't like crackers, anyway.
198
00:07:02,688 --> 00:07:03,720
- Oh, we being funny?
199
00:07:03,722 --> 00:07:04,621
- Man, just relax.
200
00:07:04,623 --> 00:07:06,990
Soon as I get my NCAA reparations
201
00:07:06,992 --> 00:07:08,792
from the homey Ed O'Bannon's lawsuit,
202
00:07:08,794 --> 00:07:12,362
I'll buy you Munchables, Brunchables, and Dinnables.
203
00:07:12,364 --> 00:07:14,565
- Fool, you play intramurals at a junior college.
204
00:07:14,567 --> 00:07:16,767
The only check you getting is a reality check,
205
00:07:16,769 --> 00:07:18,101
you broke-ass negro.
206
00:07:18,904 --> 00:07:20,404
- I got buckets, though, nigga.
207
00:07:20,406 --> 00:07:21,605
- Whatever. I gotta go punch in.
208
00:07:21,607 --> 00:07:23,440
Apparently me and Mom are the only people in this house
209
00:07:23,442 --> 00:07:25,776
putting in work. Deuces.
210
00:07:25,778 --> 00:07:26,577
Stay black.
211
00:07:26,579 --> 00:07:28,445
[knock on the door.
212
00:07:28,447 --> 00:07:31,215
213
00:07:31,217 --> 00:07:32,516
- Cheer practice just ended, Grover.
214
00:07:32,518 --> 00:07:34,585
I hope you don't mind me showing up.
215
00:07:34,587 --> 00:07:35,319
- Oh, okay.
216
00:07:35,321 --> 00:07:37,054
I ain't know we was expecting company.
217
00:07:37,056 --> 00:07:39,389
I'll be right back.
218
00:07:41,060 --> 00:07:41,959
What's good, girl?
219
00:07:41,961 --> 00:07:44,761
I'm Montrel, local hoops legend.
220
00:07:44,763 --> 00:07:45,729
Ha-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch.
221
00:07:45,731 --> 00:07:47,564
- Come on, 'Trel. This is my baby momma.
222
00:07:47,566 --> 00:07:49,299
- Baby momma? Man, the only thing
223
00:07:49,301 --> 00:07:50,634
getting pregnant around here
224
00:07:50,636 --> 00:07:52,135
is your sock, Crunchy.
225
00:07:52,137 --> 00:07:52,803
- Nasty.
226
00:07:52,805 --> 00:07:54,738
Anyway, how did everything go with the baby?
227
00:07:54,740 --> 00:07:55,572
Did she cry much?
228
00:07:55,574 --> 00:07:56,907
- Yeah, but I fed her, burped her,
229
00:07:56,909 --> 00:07:58,609
changed her diaper, and sang her some of that
230
00:07:58,611 --> 00:08:00,310
new Taylor Swift until she stopped.
231
00:08:00,312 --> 00:08:02,980
- You really hitting them high notes like that, Grover?
232
00:08:02,982 --> 00:08:04,181
- You already know, boo.
233
00:08:04,183 --> 00:08:05,148
Anything for our baby.
234
00:08:05,150 --> 00:08:07,584
- You're really taking this serious, Grover.
235
00:08:07,586 --> 00:08:08,919
I like that.
236
00:08:08,921 --> 00:08:11,588
Mm. Later, new booty.
237
00:08:12,391 --> 00:08:15,425
- She want my pipe, guaranteed.
238
00:08:15,427 --> 00:08:17,327
239
00:08:19,430 --> 00:08:21,298
- Oh.
240
00:08:22,167 --> 00:08:23,367
There we go.
241
00:08:23,369 --> 00:08:25,502
- Hey, Mom, you gotta take care of this mark-ass baby
242
00:08:25,504 --> 00:08:27,170
if we finna pass this class.
243
00:08:27,172 --> 00:08:28,438
- Of course, Milky.
244
00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:30,540
Has Mommy ever let you down?
245
00:08:30,542 --> 00:08:31,441
- Yeah, you have,
246
00:08:31,443 --> 00:08:32,976
when you married that lame Uncle Joey.
247
00:08:32,978 --> 00:08:34,945
- How many times have I told you?
248
00:08:34,947 --> 00:08:35,812
My name is Dave.
249
00:08:35,814 --> 00:08:37,981
- Well, you look like that square from "Full House,"
250
00:08:37,983 --> 00:08:39,850
so you Uncle Joey to me, buster.
251
00:08:39,852 --> 00:08:40,851
Now step out my kitchen.
252
00:08:40,853 --> 00:08:43,787
- Milton, don't make me pull out the mortgage paperwork
253
00:08:43,789 --> 00:08:45,455
to clarify who owns this house.
254
00:08:45,457 --> 00:08:48,292
- See how white folk always be referring to paperwork and shit?
255
00:08:48,294 --> 00:08:50,427
- Come on, Milk, we're in this together.
256
00:08:50,429 --> 00:08:52,663
- I already been done told you, Shamal.
257
00:08:52,665 --> 00:08:53,697
That baby ain't mine.
258
00:08:53,699 --> 00:08:56,166
- Milky, don't talk to her like that.
259
00:08:56,168 --> 00:08:58,001
Why don't I help you
260
00:08:58,003 --> 00:08:59,336
with the baby, Shamal?
261
00:08:59,338 --> 00:09:00,304
- Well, I guess so,
262
00:09:00,306 --> 00:09:01,805
if that's the way Milk's gonna be.
263
00:09:01,807 --> 00:09:04,274
- Cool, I'm about to go make some stomach pancakes
264
00:09:04,276 --> 00:09:06,643
right quick. See about me.
265
00:09:07,045 --> 00:09:09,446
- I can't even come up with no lies.
266
00:09:09,448 --> 00:09:10,647
Jamal love the kids.
267
00:09:10,649 --> 00:09:11,682
- You a great daddy, Jamal.
268
00:09:11,684 --> 00:09:13,850
And I'ma take care of all your needs and things.
269
00:09:13,852 --> 00:09:15,385
- That's cool, Medina.
270
00:09:15,387 --> 00:09:16,486
But you gotsta be gone.
271
00:09:16,488 --> 00:09:18,622
- You ain't gonna invite me inside to meet your parents?
272
00:09:18,624 --> 00:09:20,457
- You trippin', boo. It won't be as fun
273
00:09:20,459 --> 00:09:21,858
if we allow our relationship to
274
00:09:21,860 --> 00:09:23,627
venture into the human dimension.
275
00:09:23,629 --> 00:09:25,062
We gotta keep our shit spiritual.
276
00:09:25,064 --> 00:09:27,698
- You better not be trying to play me with all that talk.
277
00:09:27,700 --> 00:09:28,832
I know how niggas do.
278
00:09:28,834 --> 00:09:29,733
- Go on now, boo.
279
00:09:29,735 --> 00:09:32,569
You finna find out about me soon enough.
280
00:09:32,571 --> 00:09:34,404
Ya heard?
281
00:09:39,878 --> 00:09:42,446
- I been holding that in all day.
282
00:09:43,147 --> 00:09:46,817
283
00:09:46,819 --> 00:09:48,719
- Ahh, look who woke up.
284
00:09:48,721 --> 00:09:50,954
- You know, LaDante, it's only one class, man.
285
00:09:50,956 --> 00:09:53,190
We--we don't have to spend 24 hours together.
286
00:09:53,192 --> 00:09:56,360
- Shut your ass up, wifey.
287
00:09:56,362 --> 00:09:58,228
I made eggs.
288
00:09:58,230 --> 00:10:00,230
You want patties, links,
289
00:10:00,232 --> 00:10:01,465
or sausage?
290
00:10:01,467 --> 00:10:03,200
- I-I should probably just get home.
291
00:10:03,202 --> 00:10:05,302
- Then it's links, nigga.
292
00:10:07,873 --> 00:10:09,740
- All right, all right, settle down.
293
00:10:09,742 --> 00:10:10,774
Now, when you have a baby,
294
00:10:10,776 --> 00:10:12,142
you need motherfucking insurance.
295
00:10:12,144 --> 00:10:14,811
That's why you gotta enroll these little bastards
296
00:10:14,813 --> 00:10:15,812
in Robamacare.
297
00:10:15,814 --> 00:10:16,646
- Robamacare?
298
00:10:16,648 --> 00:10:18,248
Come on, Coach, they're just robots.
299
00:10:18,250 --> 00:10:19,282
- Did I fucking ask you?
300
00:10:19,284 --> 00:10:22,786
One of the utmost concerns you'll have as a father, Randy,
301
00:10:22,788 --> 00:10:24,521
is deciding upon the health care options
302
00:10:24,523 --> 00:10:27,991
that you'd like to provide for your goddamn child!
303
00:10:27,993 --> 00:10:29,259
- Watch your tone, Coach.
304
00:10:29,261 --> 00:10:30,227
She with me now.
305
00:10:30,229 --> 00:10:31,762
- Okay, okay, no disrespect.
306
00:10:31,764 --> 00:10:34,064
Now, apparently these motherfucking robot babies
307
00:10:34,066 --> 00:10:36,633
can get sick like real motherfucking babies.
308
00:10:36,635 --> 00:10:38,068
So I'll be passing out these kits
309
00:10:38,070 --> 00:10:40,737
for y'all to do the vaccinations your goddamn selves.
310
00:10:40,739 --> 00:10:42,739
- I don't want to do vaccinations, Milk.
311
00:10:42,741 --> 00:10:44,875
Jenny McCarthy says they're linked to autism.
312
00:10:44,877 --> 00:10:48,178
- Aye, Jenny McCarthy's the smartest bitch in Hollywood.
313
00:10:48,180 --> 00:10:50,047
Fuck Robamacare.
314
00:10:51,083 --> 00:10:51,948
- We need to talk.
315
00:10:51,950 --> 00:10:53,850
- I know. I'm happy we doing this too.
316
00:10:53,852 --> 00:10:55,585
- What we gonna do with the baby tonight during the game?
317
00:10:55,587 --> 00:10:58,655
- Can't you just let it chill in the girls' locker room...
318
00:10:58,657 --> 00:10:59,356
or your car?
319
00:10:59,358 --> 00:11:00,557
- What?
320
00:11:00,559 --> 00:11:01,925
You're not leaving our child in no locker.
321
00:11:01,927 --> 00:11:03,026
- No, I was just playin', baby.
322
00:11:03,028 --> 00:11:04,094
You know I'll take care of it.
323
00:11:04,096 --> 00:11:05,429
- All right, Grover, I trust you.
324
00:11:05,431 --> 00:11:06,296
You better not screw this up
325
00:11:06,298 --> 00:11:08,765
and mess up my streak of straight A's.
326
00:11:08,767 --> 00:11:11,435
327
00:11:14,539 --> 00:11:15,605
- This should do the trick.
328
00:11:15,607 --> 00:11:17,374
- What's all that noise for?
329
00:11:17,376 --> 00:11:18,442
- The baby's sick, Milk.
330
00:11:18,444 --> 00:11:20,444
Looks like measles or something like that.
331
00:11:20,446 --> 00:11:22,879
- Better stuff a sock in that little mark's mouth.
332
00:11:22,881 --> 00:11:23,814
Yo, Mom, guess what?
333
00:11:23,816 --> 00:11:26,683
You watchin' Grover's baby for the game tonight too.
334
00:11:26,685 --> 00:11:27,751
- Oh, would love to.
335
00:11:27,753 --> 00:11:29,853
Shamal and I can make it a party.
336
00:11:29,855 --> 00:11:32,222
- That sounds like a great idea, Mrs. Milk.
337
00:11:32,224 --> 00:11:35,192
We should have a party for all the babies in class.
338
00:11:35,194 --> 00:11:37,227
- What do we look like, Brangelina?
339
00:11:37,229 --> 00:11:38,328
No more kids!
340
00:11:38,330 --> 00:11:39,629
- Why you frontin', Uncle Joey?
341
00:11:39,631 --> 00:11:42,365
Always stepping on the gators of some pimpin'.
342
00:11:42,367 --> 00:11:43,700
- Look, man, I'm just sayin'.
343
00:11:43,702 --> 00:11:45,335
There were no black people on "The Flintstones,"
344
00:11:45,337 --> 00:11:47,104
and there were definitely no black people on "The Jetsons."
345
00:11:47,106 --> 00:11:49,606
We have no past and we have no future.
346
00:11:49,608 --> 00:11:50,474
We do not exist.
347
00:11:50,476 --> 00:11:52,943
Turn the heat down and let that simmer for a minute.
348
00:11:52,945 --> 00:11:55,345
- Oh, it's simmering, my man.
349
00:11:55,347 --> 00:11:56,513
350
00:11:56,515 --> 00:11:58,315
Um, excuse me.
351
00:11:58,317 --> 00:12:01,218
I was wondering. Do you have "that"?
352
00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:05,522
- Depends. Do you have that cash?
353
00:12:07,225 --> 00:12:08,158
Another satisfied devil.
354
00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:10,026
- Yo, Malik, I need you to do me a favor
355
00:12:10,028 --> 00:12:11,428
and watch the baby for a few.
356
00:12:11,430 --> 00:12:12,395
My first game is tonight.
357
00:12:12,397 --> 00:12:13,430
- You kiddin', right?
358
00:12:13,432 --> 00:12:14,698
You know I'm only eight years old.
359
00:12:14,700 --> 00:12:15,799
You should be watching me.
360
00:12:15,801 --> 00:12:16,733
- Come on, little bro.
361
00:12:16,735 --> 00:12:18,201
I ain't got no other options.
362
00:12:18,203 --> 00:12:19,202
- Sounds like a YP, bro.
363
00:12:19,204 --> 00:12:21,338
I told you, you wasn't ready to be a man like me.
364
00:12:21,340 --> 00:12:22,305
Now, if you don't mind,
365
00:12:22,307 --> 00:12:23,373
I got a corner to manage.
366
00:12:23,375 --> 00:12:25,642
You bad for business.
367
00:12:25,644 --> 00:12:26,376
- I hate robots.
368
00:12:26,378 --> 00:12:28,311
A Roomba took my mom's job.
369
00:12:28,313 --> 00:12:30,881
370
00:12:31,750 --> 00:12:33,750
- Yo, 'Trel, I got a favor to ask.
371
00:12:33,752 --> 00:12:35,852
I need you to watch my baby while I'm at the game.
372
00:12:35,854 --> 00:12:38,522
- Hmm, what does Uncle 'Trel get in return?
373
00:12:38,524 --> 00:12:40,490
- What you want? - How about 50 bucks?
374
00:12:40,492 --> 00:12:42,192
- 50 bucks? Montrel, you know
375
00:12:42,194 --> 00:12:43,727
I ain't got that kind of dough on me.
376
00:12:43,729 --> 00:12:46,396
I'll give you anything else. Just name it.
377
00:12:46,398 --> 00:12:47,597
- Hmm.
378
00:12:47,599 --> 00:12:48,899
Let me get your social.
379
00:12:48,901 --> 00:12:50,834
- What? - Sometimes Montrel has to
380
00:12:50,836 --> 00:12:53,236
become someone other than Montrel.
381
00:12:53,238 --> 00:12:54,371
382
00:12:54,373 --> 00:12:57,040
Duncan, Duncan, we're the best.
383
00:12:57,042 --> 00:12:59,276
Let's go, Blackies, DHS.
384
00:12:59,278 --> 00:13:01,578
- Work that black D, baby!
385
00:13:04,483 --> 00:13:06,983
- Our first high school basketball game.
386
00:13:06,985 --> 00:13:08,351
We about to get our nuts.
387
00:13:08,353 --> 00:13:10,921
- Yeah, I only missed, like, three lay-ups in warm-ups,
388
00:13:10,923 --> 00:13:11,922
so I'm ready to go.
389
00:13:11,924 --> 00:13:13,590
- How much y'all think you finna drop tonight?
390
00:13:13,592 --> 00:13:14,724
- Numbers don't mean nothing.
391
00:13:14,726 --> 00:13:17,027
I just need a couple of highlights on Hoopsmixtape.
392
00:13:17,029 --> 00:13:18,762
- I gotta have at least 16 points,
393
00:13:18,764 --> 00:13:21,331
since Montrel dropped 15 in his debut.
394
00:13:21,333 --> 00:13:23,700
- Yeah, that dude was a legend.
395
00:13:23,702 --> 00:13:25,068
396
00:13:26,004 --> 00:13:28,538
- Nah, you too young to puff on this dohja.
397
00:13:29,541 --> 00:13:32,008
I guess one hit won't hurt the little niglet.
398
00:13:32,010 --> 00:13:33,877
Just don't tell yo dad.
399
00:13:34,913 --> 00:13:36,346
400
00:13:37,416 --> 00:13:38,682
I don't know what it is,
401
00:13:38,684 --> 00:13:40,417
but something's tellin' me,
402
00:13:40,419 --> 00:13:41,818
we ain't finna get no burn.
403
00:13:41,820 --> 00:13:43,720
- Yo, as long as we don't get in,
404
00:13:43,722 --> 00:13:45,055
our stats can't get messed up.
405
00:13:45,057 --> 00:13:46,223
- Yeah, but let's be real.
406
00:13:46,225 --> 00:13:48,458
Everyone at school gonna think we some benchwarmers.
407
00:13:48,460 --> 00:13:49,593
- Hey, ref!
408
00:13:49,595 --> 00:13:50,894
You better start calling some fouls
409
00:13:50,896 --> 00:13:54,798
for my wife, or I'ma see your ass in the parking lot.
410
00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:58,602
- Damn, LaDante taking this parenting shit serious.
411
00:13:58,604 --> 00:14:00,136
Hey, where yo baby at, Grover?
412
00:14:00,138 --> 00:14:01,638
- I left him with Montrel.
413
00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:02,606
- Say what, my nig?
414
00:14:02,608 --> 00:14:03,607
- Aye, Grove, you do realize
415
00:14:03,609 --> 00:14:06,610
you off the team if you kill yo baby, right?
416
00:14:06,612 --> 00:14:09,813
417
00:14:11,583 --> 00:14:14,451
- Shit, I'm out of rollin' paper.
418
00:14:25,230 --> 00:14:27,030
- Hey, man, how you turn this thing off?
419
00:14:27,032 --> 00:14:28,765
Maybe you just overheated.
420
00:14:32,170 --> 00:14:35,138
Man, I'm so fucked up.
421
00:14:37,675 --> 00:14:39,075
- Oh, no, no. Oh, man.
422
00:14:39,077 --> 00:14:41,278
- Montrel, what did you do to my baby?
423
00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:42,479
I don't know.
424
00:14:42,481 --> 00:14:45,048
I was just ripping fat bong hits out of his ass,
425
00:14:45,050 --> 00:14:47,217
and then he started crying like a little bitch.
426
00:14:47,219 --> 00:14:49,452
So I started shaking him like I'm doing now.
427
00:14:50,589 --> 00:14:52,889
- Gimme that.
428
00:14:54,825 --> 00:14:55,625
Oh, damn.
429
00:14:55,627 --> 00:14:57,761
Cindy thought I looked sexy in my jersey.
430
00:14:59,197 --> 00:14:59,996
Wait a minute.
431
00:14:59,998 --> 00:15:01,431
She's coming over to see LeBronya.
432
00:15:01,433 --> 00:15:03,400
I can't let her see our baby like this.
433
00:15:03,402 --> 00:15:05,302
Montrel, you have to help me.
434
00:15:05,971 --> 00:15:08,138
I got a hook-up that might help you out.
435
00:15:08,140 --> 00:15:09,939
436
00:15:09,941 --> 00:15:11,975
- Montrel, what's up, buddy boy?
437
00:15:11,977 --> 00:15:14,911
- I got some technical nerd shit for you, Brazy B.
438
00:15:14,913 --> 00:15:16,680
I wanted to see if you could take a look at
439
00:15:16,682 --> 00:15:18,148
my little bro's baby.
440
00:15:18,150 --> 00:15:19,282
- No problem, buddy boy.
441
00:15:19,284 --> 00:15:20,583
What's the matter with this guy?
442
00:15:20,585 --> 00:15:21,518
- I don't know.
443
00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:24,454
It keeps shutting on and off and acting all fidgety.
444
00:15:24,456 --> 00:15:26,089
- Oh, yeah, buddy boy.
445
00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:27,891
This battery has liquid damage.
446
00:15:27,893 --> 00:15:31,394
Mm. Tastes like Strawberry Brohito.
447
00:15:31,396 --> 00:15:32,529
- Nah, don't look at me.
448
00:15:32,531 --> 00:15:35,298
You know I don't drink that bitch-flavored bullshit.
449
00:15:35,300 --> 00:15:38,435
- It looks like the baby has Power Down Syndrome.
450
00:15:38,437 --> 00:15:40,303
- My baby has Power Down Syndrome?
451
00:15:40,305 --> 00:15:41,771
I'm off the team now for sho.
452
00:15:41,773 --> 00:15:43,406
- Oh, no, no, no, no, don't worry.
453
00:15:43,408 --> 00:15:44,374
I can fix, buddy boy.
454
00:15:44,376 --> 00:15:47,644
But, uh, it's gonna cost you about 300...plus tax.
455
00:15:47,646 --> 00:15:48,244
- $300?
456
00:15:48,246 --> 00:15:50,980
But what about my Robamacare?
457
00:15:50,982 --> 00:15:52,716
458
00:15:52,718 --> 00:15:53,883
- I don't know what to do.
459
00:15:53,885 --> 00:15:56,419
If Coach sees this, you know I'm off the squad.
460
00:15:56,421 --> 00:15:57,387
And if Cindy see it,
461
00:15:57,389 --> 00:15:59,022
I ain't never gonna get my meat moist.
462
00:15:59,024 --> 00:16:01,725
- At least your baby ain't looking like no Benjamin Button.
463
00:16:01,727 --> 00:16:04,094
- I don't know what y'all complaining for.
464
00:16:04,096 --> 00:16:05,128
You did it to yourselves.
465
00:16:05,130 --> 00:16:06,629
Grover, you know you wasn't supposed to
466
00:16:06,631 --> 00:16:08,898
leave your fate in the hands of Montrel.
467
00:16:08,900 --> 00:16:09,966
And Milk, acting all uppity
468
00:16:09,968 --> 00:16:12,235
with being an anti-vaxxer and all that.
469
00:16:12,237 --> 00:16:13,837
- Oh, shit. Here comes Cindy.
470
00:16:13,839 --> 00:16:16,906
- What's up, Grover? Where's my little munchkin?
471
00:16:16,908 --> 00:16:18,308
- This is where we bounce.
472
00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:19,776
- Come here, LeBronya.
473
00:16:19,778 --> 00:16:21,111
- Uh...here you go.
474
00:16:21,113 --> 00:16:24,247
- Ew, why does my baby look like Forest Whitaker?
475
00:16:24,249 --> 00:16:25,281
- What are you talking about?
476
00:16:25,283 --> 00:16:27,751
Our baby's always looked like Forest Whitaker.
477
00:16:27,753 --> 00:16:29,786
Okay, I ain't gonna lie to you.
478
00:16:29,788 --> 00:16:30,920
I let Montrel watch the baby,
479
00:16:30,922 --> 00:16:33,656
and he may or may not have spilled flavored beer on her,
480
00:16:33,658 --> 00:16:35,125
and may or may not have used her as a bong.
481
00:16:35,127 --> 00:16:37,961
- Grover, that's the dumbest thing you could have done.
482
00:16:37,963 --> 00:16:39,062
- What do you want me to do?
483
00:16:39,064 --> 00:16:40,997
You needed to cheer, and I had a game to play.
484
00:16:40,999 --> 00:16:43,133
- You mean, you had a game to watch.
485
00:16:44,403 --> 00:16:45,935
If I fail this class, ooh,
486
00:16:45,937 --> 00:16:47,270
I will never forgive you.
487
00:16:47,272 --> 00:16:50,607
- Damn, homey, you ain't never gonna smash now.
488
00:16:50,609 --> 00:16:51,307
Believe dat.
489
00:16:51,309 --> 00:16:52,842
- Stupid baby. It's your fault
490
00:16:52,844 --> 00:16:53,877
I ain't gonna get laid.
491
00:16:53,879 --> 00:16:56,112
- Man, y'all some professional passengers.
492
00:16:56,114 --> 00:16:58,014
Time for me to take the wheel.
493
00:16:58,016 --> 00:17:01,184
494
00:17:22,941 --> 00:17:24,307
- Man, that didn't do shit.
495
00:17:24,309 --> 00:17:26,910
My baby still rustier than a motherfucker.
496
00:17:26,912 --> 00:17:29,646
- I failed you, my nigs.
497
00:17:37,355 --> 00:17:40,123
- I don't now what's wrong with my baby.
498
00:17:40,125 --> 00:17:41,458
I think it's dying.
499
00:17:41,460 --> 00:17:42,325
- Oh, Shamal.
500
00:17:42,327 --> 00:17:45,161
Every woman loses a baby or two in her lifetime.
501
00:17:45,163 --> 00:17:47,330
- I'm more upset that Milk doesn't care.
502
00:17:47,332 --> 00:17:50,533
- Shamal, let me hold that mark right quick.
503
00:17:50,535 --> 00:17:52,101
- Aye, yo, Mom,
504
00:17:52,103 --> 00:17:53,770
bring me some of them hand sanitizers.
505
00:17:53,772 --> 00:17:55,905
This baby chaffin' all over me.
506
00:17:55,907 --> 00:17:57,006
What up, my dudes?
507
00:17:57,008 --> 00:17:58,141
- Not a damn thing.
508
00:17:58,143 --> 00:17:59,409
Got a Forest Whitaker baby,
509
00:17:59,411 --> 00:18:00,243
lost my boo Cindy,
510
00:18:00,245 --> 00:18:01,344
and once I fail this class,
511
00:18:01,346 --> 00:18:02,712
I'm gonna get kicked off the team.
512
00:18:02,714 --> 00:18:04,647
- Man, ever since we had to be responsible parents,
513
00:18:04,649 --> 00:18:06,850
our lives have been suckin' some chicken dicks.
514
00:18:06,852 --> 00:18:08,451
- Now I see why dudes in the league
515
00:18:08,453 --> 00:18:09,719
don't hang out with they kids.
516
00:18:09,721 --> 00:18:12,355
- Just get rid of him. You already failing.
517
00:18:12,357 --> 00:18:13,656
- Aye, he's right.
518
00:18:13,658 --> 00:18:14,591
Can I kick it?
519
00:18:14,593 --> 00:18:15,859
- Yes, you can.
520
00:18:15,861 --> 00:18:16,860
- Can I kick it?
521
00:18:16,862 --> 00:18:17,994
- Yes, you can.
522
00:18:17,996 --> 00:18:19,462
- Then I'm gone.
523
00:18:25,303 --> 00:18:27,170
- Y'all would be some goddamn kickers.
524
00:18:27,172 --> 00:18:29,606
I'm a quarterback, bitch. Tebow.
525
00:18:29,608 --> 00:18:30,473
- Jamal! - Oh.
526
00:18:30,475 --> 00:18:32,208
- What the hell you doin'?
527
00:18:34,513 --> 00:18:37,680
528
00:18:38,617 --> 00:18:40,783
all: Touchdown!
529
00:18:40,785 --> 00:18:42,485
- No, no, no, no touchdown.
530
00:18:42,487 --> 00:18:44,354
She didn't complete the process.
531
00:18:44,356 --> 00:18:45,588
- Let's go to instant replay.
532
00:18:45,590 --> 00:18:47,624
- Upon further review of the play...
533
00:18:47,626 --> 00:18:50,059
Stands.
534
00:18:50,061 --> 00:18:50,960
- What him say?
535
00:18:50,962 --> 00:18:53,663
- I said, upon further review of the play...
536
00:18:53,665 --> 00:18:56,900
Stands.
537
00:19:02,140 --> 00:19:03,573
- We did it, yeah!
538
00:19:04,576 --> 00:19:06,376
- Oh, no.
539
00:19:06,844 --> 00:19:08,578
- What you mean, "Oh, no"?
540
00:19:12,918 --> 00:19:14,884
Motherfucker, my baby.
541
00:19:15,654 --> 00:19:19,155
Damn, damn, damn!
542
00:19:21,892 --> 00:19:23,126
543
00:19:29,633 --> 00:19:30,533
- I'm sorry, boo.
544
00:19:30,535 --> 00:19:31,501
- Stop with the "boo" thing.
545
00:19:31,503 --> 00:19:32,936
You ruined my streak of straight As.
546
00:19:32,938 --> 00:19:35,138
So if you think we're gonna be boos,
547
00:19:35,140 --> 00:19:37,106
you're as high as your brother.
548
00:19:41,313 --> 00:19:43,313
Now I'm gonna have to go to that school
549
00:19:43,315 --> 00:19:45,114
Lil' Romeo be rappin' about.
550
00:19:45,116 --> 00:19:47,917
- The hell happened to your Totbots?
551
00:19:47,919 --> 00:19:49,085
- They all dead, Coach.
552
00:19:49,087 --> 00:19:50,286
- I'm at peace with it.
553
00:19:50,288 --> 00:19:51,287
Our baby led a good life.
554
00:19:51,289 --> 00:19:52,922
- Wait a minute. All your robots are dead?
555
00:19:52,924 --> 00:19:55,058
Shit, that means I gotta teach summer school.
556
00:19:55,060 --> 00:19:57,026
I was supposed to be going to Detroit.
557
00:19:57,028 --> 00:19:57,961
Think, motherfucker.
558
00:19:57,963 --> 00:19:59,963
You know what? I'm grading on a curve.
559
00:19:59,965 --> 00:20:01,230
All y'all get A's.
560
00:20:02,934 --> 00:20:05,768
Ha-ha, now get the fuck out my classroom.
561
00:20:05,770 --> 00:20:06,936
562
00:20:06,938 --> 00:20:09,072
- Yo, Cindy, can I holler right quick?
563
00:20:09,074 --> 00:20:10,206
- What do you want, Grover?
564
00:20:10,208 --> 00:20:12,642
- I just wanted to apologize again for killing our baby.
565
00:20:12,644 --> 00:20:14,978
I promise it won't ever happen again.
566
00:20:14,980 --> 00:20:16,446
Unless...you want it to.
567
00:20:16,448 --> 00:20:18,414
- What? - Your body, your choice.
568
00:20:18,416 --> 00:20:20,883
The point is, I'm not ready to be a daddy.
569
00:20:20,885 --> 00:20:22,785
But I am ready to be your man.
570
00:20:22,787 --> 00:20:24,654
Trust and believe.
571
00:20:24,656 --> 00:20:26,122
- You ain't a legend.
572
00:20:26,124 --> 00:20:29,292
Yet.
573
00:20:29,294 --> 00:20:32,729
574
00:20:32,731 --> 00:20:35,431
- The games are way more enjoyable with no kids.
575
00:20:35,433 --> 00:20:38,134
- Yeah, that's why when we start beating real cakes,
576
00:20:38,136 --> 00:20:39,035
we gotta strap up.
577
00:20:39,037 --> 00:20:42,171
- Or just make sure our pull-out game is strong, ya dig?
578
00:20:42,173 --> 00:20:43,306
Hold up. Massa comin'.
579
00:20:43,308 --> 00:20:45,508
- You motherfuckers better stop all this jaw-jacking
580
00:20:45,510 --> 00:20:48,678
and pay attention to the goddamn game.
581
00:20:49,547 --> 00:20:52,115
I got a bad tooth, motherfuckers.
582
00:20:53,518 --> 00:20:56,619